Use As Directed
by Amiable Loner
Summary: The team gets a laugh at Face's expense.


Disclaimer: I do not own the A-Team. I make no money from this. I wasn't even born when the series ended!

Hannibal sighed as he and BA relaxed in the small living room in the house Face had scammed for them. It was a little place out in the country and very isolated. They had just finished a very draining case and decided that a vacation was in order. The colonel and sergeant were enjoying the silence as they reclined in the very comfortable couch and recliner. Face hadn't gone for extravagance this time but he still managed to find a place that was completely furnished with all the comforts they wanted.

_Speaking of Face…_Hannibal thought. The lieutenant had received several broken ribs in the last fight and was now sleeping in the room he shared with Murdock. It had been two hours since they'd gotten here and Face had dropped off to sleep within minutes of them arriving. He knew Face wouldn't be up for another two hours at least, the painkiller he'd taken had a tendency to knock him out for around six hours and there was no waking him until the drug wore off. _Good thing Lynch doesn't know about that!_ He thought with a grin. That painkiller worked better than a sedative on Face, they'd found out quite by accident that he wouldn't react to a thing while the drug was in his system. Face wouldn't be doing any watches tonight, he'd be so groggy when the painkiller wore off that it was better he just stay asleep. Murdock could take Face's watch; he had far too much energy after that case.

_Where is Murdock anyway?_ Hannibal wondered. It had been unusually quiet for all of them and Murdock in particular. It just wasn't in the pilot's nature to be so quiet for so long. He wondered what on earth Murdock was up to. He was thankful for the silence but with Murdock you never knew what could happen.

Deciding he needed to know what Murdock was up to Hannibal quietly slipped from the room. Silently he made his way through the hall and into the room containing two beds and his officers. Upon entering the room he nearly had to bite down on his lips to keep from laughing. Face lay sleeping peacefully and oblivious to the world as Murdock covered all of his exposed skin in some kind of green cream. The pilot glanced up and smiled when he saw him in the door.

"Murdock, what are you doing?" he asked sounding remarkably like an exasperated father. Instead of answering Murdock tossed him the nearly empty tube.

"I'm just following the directions," he answered cheekily. Hannibal turned the tube over in his hands until he found what he was looking for. _Apply liberally to face and let dry._ Hannibal chuckled and tossed it back.

"He's not going to be happy when he wakes up you know," he said.

"I know, but the expression on his face will be worth it," Murdock answered with a manic glint in his eye. Hannibal chuckled as he shook his head.

"See you later Murdock."

About a half an hour later Murdock came waltzing into the living room and dropped onto an unoccupied couch. BA glanced at him and gave the wiggling pilot a warning growl. Murdock nodded to acknowledge the warning then leaned back and made himself comfortable. A satisfied smirk slowly spread across his face as he settled in. He caught Hannibal's eye and nodded. BA caught the exchange and sent a questioning gaze in Hannibal's direction.

"What's he up to Hannibal?" BA demanded.

"Just wait BA; it's going to be good." BA shrugged and settled himself back into his couch. Hannibal shifted a little to find a more comfortable position in his recliner.

Hours passed in comfortable silence though all of them were waiting for an outburst. Three hours after Murdock put his plan into motion there was a bewildered cry from the bedroom.

"Hannibal!" Face wailed. Hannibal caught Murdock's eye and both grinned devilishly. Completely intrigued BA got up and followed the two conspirators down the hall. Upon entering the room they could see the reason for Face's distress. His entire upper body sans the bandages was covered in dried goo that cracked and peeled slightly as he moved. Still groggy Face looked at the three of them with wide confused eyes that stared out at them from a mask of green. They couldn't help it, they burst into laughter. "It's not funny!" Face protested indignantly. "Who did this?" A still laughing Murdock raised his hand as he slid down the wall to lie on the floor. A bright flash momentarily blinded the now green conman. "BA!" he cried as the burly sergeant lowered the camera.

"C'mon kid," Hannibal cajoled. "You gotta admit this is pretty funny."

"No it's not! This stuff itches!" That set off another round of laughter.

"What made ya think o' this?" BA asked as he wiped tears away from his eyes.

"This," Murdock announced as he passed the now empty tube to BA. After studying it for a few seconds BA broke out in giggles once again.

"Come on guys!" this still partially drugged Face whined. BA tossed the container to Face who somehow managed to catch it. He studied it closely for a while but his foggy mind couldn't grasp what they were getting at. "What?"

"It says 'apply liberally to _face _and let dry'," Hannibal prompted, putting emphasis on the 'face'. Slowly comprehension dawned on the lieutenant's green face. He turned a glare to Murdock who broke out laughing again.

"I was just following directions," Murdock defended through gasps.

"Well can you get it off? It itches!" Face reiterated.

"Come on lieutenant," Hannibal said as he finally had mercy on him and helped him to his feet. "I know the ladies like a man who can get in touch with his feminine side but don't you think you went a little overboard?"

"Hannibal!"

"Maybe this'll teach ya not to sleep in your shorts," BA stated then giggled. It was true; Face generally slept only in his shorts or maybe sweats if it were a little cool.

Hannibal led Face into the bathroom and went about his task of cleaning the face cream off his irate lieutenant.

"Any harder and you'll take my skin off," Face complained.

"Do want to walk around looking like someone did a bad make-up job on you or do you want it off?" Hannibal countered. Murdock slowly walked in with the tube in his hands.

"Uh Colonel," he began sheepishly. "I didn't read all the directions. It says to leave it on for about thirty minutes."

"Murdock!" Face shouted in dismay.

"Go get BA, we're all going to have to scrub him down," Hannibal ordered. It took the three of them about forty five minutes to finally get the dried paste off Face's skin. Face sat still but complained loudly through the entire ordeal. The painkiller was wearing off and every movement made his ribs hurt and he didn't hesitate to let them know.

"There! All better!" Murdock chirped. A more coherent Face glared at him, his skin red and angry looking from the scrubbing they gave him.

"You know, green suited you much better lieutenant," Hannibal commented. BA tried to stifle a giggle but failed at the look on the blond man's face.

"I hate you," Face growled.

"You don't mean that," Murdock drawled as he draped an arm over Face's shoulders.

"Yes I do," Face replied.

"We're your family Faceguy, you can't hate us," Murdock countered as he slowly guided his friend back toward the bed.

"Of course I can."

"So you say. But I know you very well and I know that you don't mean most of the things you say so I know you don't mean what you're saying." Face blinked at him; mind still not quite up to par.

"Jus' put him to bed Fool," BA growled. Murdock helped his friend back into bed and tucked him in with a cheeky grin.

"I'm not a little kid," Face protested.

"You're acting like one," Murdock countered. Hannibal appeared beside him with a glass of water and a pill.

"Here Face, take this and go to sleep," he said as he handed them over. Obediently Face took the proffered items. In a few minutes he was fighting to keep his eyes open. "Say good night Face," Hannibal grinned.

"Good night Face," he replied drowsily with a goofy smile. Seconds later he was asleep.

"He's gonna be loopier than a roller coaster if you keep givin' him that stuff," Murdock admonished.

"Maybe, but at least this way he's quiet," Hannibal answered.

"I don't know about you but I'm goin' to bed," BA announced as he left the room.

"Good idea sergeant," Hannibal called after him. Clapping a hand on Murdock's shoulder he said with a wicked grin, "Captain, you have watch all night tonight."

"Hannibal," Murdock protested.

"Face is injured and BA and I are very tired. You on the other hand are an unlimited fountain of energy. After this you should be awake all night. I'll see you in the morning."

"Yes Colonel," Murdock answered glumly as he went to get his gun. Hannibal just grinned as he watched him leave. He was now assured that Murdock would not be bouncing off the walls for the next twenty-four hours anyway. Though, he had to admit, the little prank was very amusing. He glanced at Face and felt a little sorry for the younger man but the feeling didn't last too long.

_I've got a nice cabin to relax in, I've insured that Murdock will be quiet for a little while, BA's in a good mood, and I've got a little blackmail to keep Face in line the next time he tries to pull something. _Hannibal grinned as he made his own way to bed. He had to be ready for tomorrow, an irate Face and a tired Murdock was not something he wished to deal with on too little sleep.


End file.
